Listen to the silence

We know and understand that ‘Actions speak louder than words’. We observe and talk about the body language and behaviour of others. We communicate our own emotions through actions. We expect obedience, humbleness, kindness and honesty from others. Specially, parents, teachers and elders have great expectations when it is a question of their children. They want the best for them and expect that in return they become good human beings and fulfill their wishes. This attitude is universal. In spite of all this, heart breaking incidents do occur. Teenagers and even children are involved in suicide, kidnapping, drugs, theft bullying, harassment and terrorism. These situations are reported each day and should be an eye opener for all of us.

A recent incident of students being involved in using crackers to create panic in schools needs to be taken seriously. The other incident of a teenager committing suicide on denying to appear in an examination has raised alarm bells as well. Each and every tragedy raises so many questions if we introspect and observe. The big question is why all this is happening? We cannot always blame external factors for the negative attitudes prevailing in our society. It is our responsibility as well which is being denied and overlooked. How much we give time to the children and youth. How much concerned are we about their activities and interests? How much do we know about their developmental needs? How much we listen to them and take their concerns seriously? How much we know about their education requirements and extracurricular activities? Why we take their comments and observations as ‘childish’ or ‘influenced’ by others? Why we stop to listen when they do not talk like we want them to say? Why we do not listen and understand their silent behaviour? We feel satisfied and happy when they are busy in playing games or watching TV or sitting at home.

What is happening today with our children and youth is the result of suppressed anger, frustration, unworthiness loneliness and emptiness inside. They do not understand the love of elders and we do not understand their love for us. This communication gap is a problem to all tragedies. The only solution is to bridge and overcome this gap through love and care. Listen to them. Speak to them. Trust them and do not discuss their behaviours or concerns in front of others. Children as well as teenagers hate this attitude and feel being ridiculed. This leads to withdrawn behaviour which makes them more vulnerable to negative thinking.

Instead of getting confused the simple answer to all these problems is awareness and action. Awareness to the extent to understand own potential to handle the situation and also to know the requirement and need of children. Young children mostly learn and understand through informal talk, storytelling and chatting where they do not feel threatened. Teenagers on the other hand want to be seen as grownups and responsible struggling to handle their problems themselves. They need support and assurance that the elders are there to listen to no matter whatever what happens. The bond between young and elders need to be so strong that there is a feeling of belongingness and care. This can only happen when we focus on our family system and strengthen it through sacrifice, dedication, care and giving it appropriate time.