Death. It's quite strange how
this small five-letter word has an effect on people---me. How it brings to mind
the bitterest of memories, the most painful of moments, the toughest of
experiences and the most miserable impressions. Two of my closest relatives died
before I was born, so I had no experience of death until... until I stepped into
my teens. And then it was a series that came to my notice for the first time. In
various forms. It was ever near me. Sometimes taking away my grandfather, or my
uncle. Elder brother of our neighborhood shopkeeper, my dear teacher, our
neighbour, my class fellow's sister, a school fellow, my friend's father... and
many else. Always lurking in the shadows. So near. So secretly. The wave of
horror enveloping me every time I heard the news of a close one's passing. The
positive change, unfortunately temporary, it brought in me after each and every
recent demise vanished after a few weeks. Why? Maybe I'm too engrossed in this
world that I have to leave one day. Even if I hate, let alone dislike, the mere
thought of it I'm not ready for it. Yet 'it' is. Ever ready to take me with it.
Some time, some day. A fixed time on a fixed day. Not delaying a nanosecond.
Sigh! Planning every day I fail to remember 'that' night - my first night in the
grave... (May this night be my happiest ever, Aameen!)
My very first encounter with the cruelest yet truest of life's fact, death, was
when my beloved grandmother left me. It was horrid. You can't imagine at times
how some apparently petty instants determine the course of your future life, the
whole of the rest. It was somehow with me. This incident made me think many
things. Things I would've never thought or not until very late in life. I saw
the fierce face of insensitivity being reflected in a medic's form. I decided to
seek a career in medicine. Only... only to take revenge from that particular
man. To show him how it aches to see a loved one die. To make him feel the agony
when you can't help but just see. I had made up my mind. I cleared my
matriculation and intermediate with flying colours, Alhamdulillah! I was ready.
About to enter the institution from where I'd come out as my desired
professional. I could. Yet I didn't. I forsook. I withdrew. Leaving my case in
His court. Where all will find justice. Where there will be no lame excuses.
Despite my plans of quitting the revenge idea, I could have had 'the' one seat,
students die for. Again, I didn't. Being a doctor sounds great to the world and
even greater to one's own self. Having the initials of Dr. with your name--- how
cool! But wait... I could give my seat to a 'brother' of mine who will become
the supporter of his family one day. Yes, a large number of girls waste their
seats and government funds reserved for medical students. They don't practice
after graduating due to marriage or other issues like refusing to work in far
off areas. This seat, this rank is a great responsibility. Feel it, value it.
Because on That Day everyone will be asked about their duties. It's not a light
matter. Please Do Ponder!
Doctor’s have to face death innumerable times. Yes, death.