Marriage Indeptedness

Daughter’s marriage has been a great issue for the parents and guardian as the expenses of marriage have increased to great extent and it is becoming beyond the capacity of the parents. The major causes of indebtedness are unnecessary receptions like “Mehdi”, “Maayoon” as well as Pomp and Show by giving lush meals and wheels at the marriage ceremony / reception beyond capacity. Pomp and Show is a curse in Islamic Society but it is regretted to say that it has now become fashion to expend beyond capacity to keep the nose high. If all proceedings of marriage are carried out by keeping in view the capacity of parents and no demand is exercised by sides as well as avoiding pomp and show the burden of marriage can be curtailed to great extent.

I am not against dowry because it is intrinsic passion of human beings to give gift on the occasion of marriage of their daughters and no law to prevent dowry can be implemented but it should be according to the capacity of the parents of daughters and no demand is exercised by the parents of bride-groom or himself also demand for dowry is non-Islamic and unethical as it displays the greediness of parents and boys and in my opinion from where dowry or any other demand is solicited marriage should not be held over there because greediness has no limitation and might create difficulties after marriage. We should simplify the marriage proceedings as far as it is possible to facilitate the parents of boys and girls both. To ease and avoid unnecessary expenditure in marriage I suggest the following which must be adopted, accepted and assumed:-

i) Nikah should be held at Mosque as it is our tradition.
ii) Mehdi and Maayoon as well as other receptionary ceremonies should be avoided at all.
iii) Pomp in Show must be avoided
iv) No demand should be existed from either side.
v) Dowry / Gift and “Baree” (marriage clothes and jewelries etc. by the parents of bride-groom for bride) should be given keeping in view the capacity of both parents so that indebtedness is avoided.
vi) Expenses on clothes / suits and wrist watches etc by the parents of bride for bride-groom should be met according to the capacity of the parents of bride and no demand should be arisen from bride-groom or his parents in this context.
vii) Demand from sisters other quarters of the bride-groom for gold / gift / clothes etc. on the occasion of his marriage must be avoided and it may be left upon bride-groom at all.
viii) Only one reception i.e. Valima should be held on the Marriage Occasion and both sides’ guests should be invited in the said ceremony and if possible expenditure is solely borne by bridegroom or his parents if they are well-to-do otherwise the same should be borne by both sides equally. In Valima ceremony capacity of expenditure should be kept in view and not serve dozens dishes only for pomp and show.