Marriage is a beautiful union between two individuals, but it
also comes with its fair share of challenges. From communication issues to
conflicting expectations, many couples find themselves struggling to navigate
the complexities of married life.However, with the help ofmarital counseling,
couples can proactively address potential conflicts, learn effective
communication skills, and build a solid foundation for a successful and
fulfilling marriage. Marriage counseling is an important element, and it should
be incorporated into all segments of society. Whether educated or uneducated,
every individual requires counseling before marriage. An interview with Dr.
Ambreen Fatima was conducted to get insight into the transformative power of
marriage counseling.
Dr. Ambreen Fatima is a highly qualified professional, holding certifications as
a marital and family therapist, as well as being a consultant clinical
psychologist.I asked her about her time in the field of therapy and she told us
that she has been doing therapy since 1999. She was asked about her opinion on
marriage counseling needs in Pakistan, and she highlighted that there is a lack
of marriage counselors in Pakistan and her family is working for marriage
counseling in Pakistan for counseling prior to marriage. She highlighted the
need to educate and counsel people prior to marriage and that the person’s
characteristics and behaviors matter a lot for the sustenance of marriage. Even
a number of educated and wise people lack happiness in their marital life
because they lack certain aspects important for happy marital life.
A lot of people ignore family dynamics, the roles they hold and they should play
within the family, children, and many other aspects.
There is no awareness regarding marriage in Pakistan and grooming, development
of new relations, and understanding are not counseled before marriage. Girls are
not trained for what they are going to face once they enter into married life
and they only fantasize about the ornaments and perks of marriage. I asked
whether marriage counseling has failed in Pakistan to which she said no. But the
proper education in marriage counseling is absent in Pakistan when it is the
necessity of time that marriage counseling should be a part of the syllabus.
She also urged that the contribution of marriage counseling in Pakistan is not
according to its need. The couples and even families think that there is a need
to visit the counselor only when they are on the edge of divorce, or the
marriage can see no way forward. I asked her about the awareness of marriage
counseling in Pakistan. She was aggrieved that there is a dire need for marriage
counseling in Pakistan which is yet not identified and people have only gained
it from friends and families and they sometimes do it out of their personal
gains and sometimes loyalty.
She highlighted how critical it is to not tell others what there their bedroom
talk is. These things are not only heard by the right people but also by those
who should not have heard this. Sometimes ego issues and gender differences lead
couples to divorce. There is a need to show patience in certain circumstances.
Couples due to their age do not know which issues should be worked on and what
should not be highlighted without the consultation of a partner. Usually, people
visit a marriage counselor because they know the importance of marriage
counseling but it is only a small segment of society.
She shared her experience with clients and she told how a couple approached her
and when both parties were counseled, the divorcing situation turned into
marriage therapy. She highlighted the gap between people’s appreciation of
marriage counseling the emotional ventilation. She was worried that people come
to a marriage counselor for the ventilation of their emotions and not for the
maintenance of relationships with their partners. People are only concerned
about the part of their partner but not the part they play in the bigger
picture.
In light of her interview, I have concluded that it is of great importance to
identify the importance of marriage counseling and the role a person plays in
marriage and gender roles should be avoided.We all carry emotional baggage from
our past experiences, and these can unknowingly influence our behavior in
relationships. Marital counseling provides an opportunity for couples to
identify any negative relationship patterns, unresolved issues, or emotional
wounds that might affect their marriage. Marriage is not just about sharing a
home; it's about building a deep emotional bond and fostering intimacy.By
proactively engaging in counseling, couples can increase their chances of
building a fulfilling, resilient, and loving marriage. Remember, a strong
foundation today paves the way for a brighter future together.