Learn to say "NO"

(Rehan Hyder, London)

'NO' is only a two letter word. Yet many times, it fails to slip out of the tongue as quite easily as a 'sorry', 'thank you', or a 'yes'. We have all been in situations where we find it difficult to say no. We hem, we haw, we chew on our words and clear our throats, but the no still gets stuck midway in the windpipe. Nevertheless, by the time we find our voices, the 'no' seems to have transformed into what sounds suspiciously like a 'yes'. The workplace is no different.

All too often, individuals who say yes are perceived to be co-operative while those that say no are branded rebellious.

For understandable reasons, it is difficult to turn down favors requested by the boss or senior colleagues. However, learning to say no with grace is an important skill that equips you for survival in the workplace and elsewhere. When people are forced to acquiesce to a demand or request they feel is unfair or inconvenient, it only fuels resentment and
frustration within them. And that reflects badly on the job and on the relationship. So the next time you .find yourself hemmed in by unreasonable requests and inappropriate demands, try some these techniques to say no.

Practice tact and be respectful. Smile, even when you know that the answer you are going to give is not going to go down well. It is said that respect for ourselves guides our morals while respect for other guides our manners. If you can turn down a request with good manners and polite others. If the asker persists and pressurizes you, firmly stick to your stance. Avoid further explanations, and request to be excused. The above approach works well with peers, but it may be folly to refuse outright, if the other person is your boss or a superior. In such This statement also gives the message that you may not be able to give your undivided attention to the job, because you have other responsibilities. State that you would rather decline than do a bad job. If you feel that don't have adequate skills or ability to ness, it doesn't embitter a relationship as much as an aggressive and contemptuous 'No'. In fact, it may even be better for your relationship than a grudging, resentful yes.

Say something like, "I would have loved to help you out, but I don't think I am comfortable working on that line. May be next time." Be firm. Look at the person in the eye, and assert your refusal. Make sure the non-verbal message is the same as your words. It is usually easier to say no to certain people than to cases, it is better not to begin with an outright no, but try to build up to that. Offer credible explanations for your refusal, or try and buy for time if you cannot put him off immediately. Say something like "I am on to four projects right now boss, and couldn't probably take on another one. How about if we get to it next week?" By then, the boss may have had an alternative solution to his problem, or may no longer need you to work on it. handle the job, it is better to admit your limitations up front rather than feeling overwhelmed down the road. Explain that you lack the skill and understanding required for the job and if possible try and put the person through to someone who can help out.

Rehan Hyder
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